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The 5 Happy Factors

Life has been a little bit trying for me lately. To say I've been blocked is a severe understatement. Learning a new lifestyle this crazy world has forced upon us has overwhelmed me, and for much of the past several weeks, I've found myself in the dark, too overcome by it to even try to dig my way out of the hole I'd seemingly dove headfirst into.

I've also been in a bit of a....blame-y place. Projecting the way I've been feeling onto other people and circumstances out of my control.

I'll be the first one to tell you that it's okay to feel that way, but only for so long. Because no matter the situation you're in, only one person can get you out. Can you guess who that incredible person is?

Once I snapped out of it, I started thinking about what makes me happy and the things I'm working toward for myself and my daughter. So I compiled my top five happy factors and decided to share them with you.

In order of importance:

  1. Never believe that happiness can be achieved in five simple steps. See what I did there? The most important piece of knowledge I can ever give you is that happiness is not an end result. It is not the final piece to a giant puzzle. It is forever growing and morphing, changing as you do. It is learning what makes you tick and figuring out how to tick your way through life(while still pausing for a few battery changes).

  2. Be honest with yourself about what happiness means to you. Is it a career? A family? Two and a half children? Money? Being famous? Take some time to really consider this. And once you pin it down to one or two options, ask yourself WHY you believe these will help you create happiness. I'd be willing to bet that your responses will feel a little generic to you. If you're shooting daggers at me via computer screen, I'll share with you my own ideal happy factors: I want to make money, YES, but only enough to be comfortable. I want to work to live, not live to work. I want to know that I made a difference in someone's life. I want to have adventures with the people I love, especially my daughter. I don't want to waste away on the couch or in an office. I want to laugh and cherish nature and create memories that will turn into someone else's stories when I'm long gone. Simplicity, to me, is the greatest wealth. Now it's your turn!

  3. Stop relying on others to help you achieve happiness. If you're always waiting on someone else to do the dirty work, you're never going to get anywhere in life. It's like someone else going on a diet and you expecting to lose their weight. Makes no sense, right? So take the crutch back and learn to lean on it yourself. The best part about busting your ass is the joy you feel when you succeed.

  4. Stop playing the victim. This is what I was talking about at the beginning. It's so much easier to blame someone or something else for the way you're feeling, but when it comes down to it, you only have yourself to blame. You can't control what happens, but you CAN control how you react to it. And that is where your power lies. Quit relying on other means to get you where you need to go. It's hard work to only rely on yourself, but when you learn to do it, you're free. And only then can you rely on someone else in a healthy way.

  5. Recognize how you treat others and understand that it is a direct reflection of yourself. If you're walking all over people, being condescending or ignorant of them as human beings, you're only going to invite that kind of treatment into your own life. It is simple and it is something we've been taught since we were children. 'Treat others as you wish to be treated'. We've had the smarts all along. Be kind. Be empathetic. And then be happy.

Happiness can be summed up simply, but gaining it is a conscious effort of hard work, self-love, and self-realization. Enjoy the journey and never give up on yourself.

I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy out there. You're never alone! Thank you for being here with me.


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